Hey Lovebugs :)
How much does freedom cost? I’m not talking about physically, but spiritually, emotionally, mentally, even financially. Many of us may be free physically but some of us serve time in our minds. God revealed to me a while ago that I live in my head. I’m very analytical. I love dissecting things, pulling things apart and the question I always strive to answer is Why? If we are not free then it means we are in bondage and another word for bondage is oppression. Would you believe me if I told you that we are called to live in peace? That we are called unto liberty? Yes! Same thing I said. This was a tough pill for me to swallow because I’m so use to things being tough. I’ve been hurt before, lied to, mistreated, abused & talked about so naturally, having experienced all of this left me scarred. I got so use to the hurt and things being so rough that whenever things would go smoothly, especially with a guy, I would think something was wrong! I would think, “Aww man, things are going too good, something bad MUST be coming!” I didn’t realize at the time that I was placing myself in a prison, a prison of unhappiness. I allowed myself to believe that sadness, pain and hurt was inevitable, that it was all I was suppose to feel and accept.
In my past relationships, I was searching for love. I wanted to be loved, to be held, to be told how beautiful I was. Again, I didn’t realize at the time I was appearing desperate. The breaking point came when I found out a guy I was seeing was sleeping around. Not only was I hurt, but I was disgusted. One thing about me is once I get to the point where I am disgusted with you, I am DONE! I remember lying in my bed, stretching out my arms and saying “Lord, I’m tired, I surrender.” At that precise moment, it felt like a tremendous weight lifted off of my shoulders. God took my pain, my burdens, my hurt, my sadness, everything and in exchange, He gave me his peace. I’m getting emotional just typing this because He is just so good. After that moment, I turned back to God.
Over the next few years, I allowed God His time with me. He revealed to me that the love I was searching for in men, I could only find in Him. He was so delicate with me, so patient with me. He helped me turn away from some habits that were keeping me from Him. Having a relationship, a true & real relationship with Him, will truly set you free! The same way we nurture our relationships with our families, friends and mates is the same way we have to nurture, take care of and pour into our relationship with Him. God is FIRST! He loves us more than EVERYBODY! And once we accept this, we can experience a peace and a freedom that we are SUPPPOSE to have. Because whoever the Son sets free is free indeed!