Just Living

Hey Lovebugs :) I’m sitting here reflecting on how much of a relaxing day I had the other day. I got up, fixed myself some breakfast, then chilled out and watched some movies. As I was watching the first movie, I started to feel weird, like I should’ve been doing something. Maybe I should’ve been studying, writing, or just doing something. I sat there some more and while watching the movie, I realized that I don’t know how to live When I say live, I mean to just go with the flow of life. No deadlines, plans, schedules, etc. I don’t know what to do on days I don’t have anything planned to do. (Told y’all I don’t know how to relax!) I’m not exactly sure where this comes from but it freaks me out. I’m so use to “doing” that I don’t know how to just “be”! I believe (and I don’t know where in the world I got this belief from) that everyday, something exciting has to happen or I’ll receive some huge revelation from God. Today was not that day. It was… normal. Who in the heck gets weirded out from normalcy?? I’ll tell you who, someone who isn’t use to sitting down, relaxing and shooting the breeze. I’m not sure if I believe it makes me feel lazy or if it’s the belief that something ALWAYS has to be done but I really want to get to the root of this. See, normalcy to me is having my day scheduled. For example, get up around 6, help kids get ready for school, start my workday after they leave, eat lunch at 12, and so forth and so forth. It’s those times when I don’t have anything scheduled that I’m running around wondering, what am I suppose to be doing?? Live! Living doesn’t just involve taking care of our responsibilities but downtime, moments of nothingness & sitting still. At least I can admit that I am working on this, now I just gotta take this thing one day at a time, one step at a time. Ready, set, chill! Ames :)

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